Kaylee Elise
November 25, 2011
9:48 am
8 lbs 8 oz
20.5 in
A baby is very precious and a gift from God. This life starts from the moment of conception, not when you first hold the baby in your arms. The love I felt for both of my girls started before they were born and before I ever heard their heart beat. That first prenatal visit when they check the heart beat is so exciting and only added to my love! It’s hard to believe there is a little life growing inside of you.
Kaylee’s birth was a joyous moment in our lives! We will forever remember her grand entrance into the world. Neva’s birth was somewhat traumatic for both Isaac and I. Several very unfortunate and unnecessary things occurred that caused us to look into having a home birth for our next child. We are sooooo glad we did!
With Neva I had an extensive cut/tear (to the 4th degree) and was told (actually yelled at) that I would never have a normal birth again and would have to have a c-section for any future babies. This was extremely disheartening to hear especially considering it was immediately after I gave birth to Neva. The episiotomy was not necessary and was only aggravated due to the CNM (certified nurse midwife) not allowing me to get into a better position or listen to my body. At the beginning of my pushing stage she said that she saw me tearing and that she needed to perform an episiotomy. We had requested this not be done in our birth plan, however, things did not go as planned. She kept telling me to push harder and longer which did not allow my body the time it needed to stretch. It seemed like she was trying to hurry things up. In total, my pushing time with Neva lasted about twenty minutes due largely in part to the extensive cut/tear that occurred. In contrast, with my home birth I was allowed the freedom to be in the position that felt most comfortable and to push as my body felt the urge. This added to the length of my pushing stage which was about two hours total (my body started pushing on its own and I didn’t contribute until about an hour or so later when my body told me to), but was much better for my body and now recovery. After Neva’s birth it took me a very long time to recover not only physically, but emotionally as well, from all that happened. The doctors and the CNM who attended my labor and delivery were extremely rude.
When I first arrived at the hospital in active labor (contractions lasting 60 seconds and 2 minutes apart) I was given a drug without any information on what it was really for and what it would do to me, my baby, or my labor. The drug was given to prevent possible seizures due to high blood pressure. I did not have high blood pressure, just what is normal for a woman in active labor without pain medication. The drug confined me to the hospital bed and slowed down my labor greatly. My labor lasted 18 hours with my contractions slowing down to ten minutes apart a few hours after being given the drug. We were not told of these effects until after the fact and us asking them specifically if this drug slows labor down. As mentioned above, I was not given the choice to push in the position I desired or as I felt necessary which ultimately led to my extensive cut/tear causing me to need to go to the OR to be stitched up. I was yelled at by both the doctor taking me to the OR and the CNM, both blaming me for what happened and trying to place a guilt trip on me for choosing not to get an epidural and trying to have a natural birth with Neva. Overall, I was treated very poorly by everyone except my nurses.
I talked to several other doctors and midwives over the past two years who all were very encouraging and helped me through this. They all said it is possible to have a natural birth and not tear at all or hardly at all with subsequent births. The issue with my “high” blood pressure is that it is normal to have a slightly elevated blood pressure when laboring. Drugs are not necessary and it’s best to wait and let my body do its work as long as there are no other pre-eclampsia signs. I understand that every birth is different and am not opposed to doctors and hospitals. My desire is that thought would be given to the idea that God has made our bodies for having babies. Our bodies are capable of something miraculous! To question a woman’s ability to have a baby on her own is to diminish God’s power and design. Many doctors have never witnessed a fully natural birth and are trained to be surgeons and fix problems. Midwives are trained to be with a woman during her whole labor and help her with ways to ease pain and various positions to get into that facilitate birth naturally. Many times doctors are hasty to "fix" something through drugs or other types of intervention. There are most definitely times when their services are needed and are greatly appreciated...especially in high risk pregnancies and emergencies that do occur! However, for a low risk pregnancy it's best to let the mom listen to her body and not step in unless absolutely necessary.
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| Getting the tub set up in advance. |
For the past few months we have been going to see a licensed midwife for all my prenatal visits. She is very knowledgeable and has showed us much care and respect. Her support has meant so much to Isaac and I and we knew that we had made the right choice to have a water birth at home. Thanksgiving I had irregular contractions all day long and wasn’t sure if labor was about to begin or what exactly was happening. I called my midwife to let her know, but knew there was nothing to do but wait. That night I had trouble sleeping. I got up almost every hour and by 3:30 am was getting tired of waking up. At around 5 am I started getting stronger contractions and decided to time them. They were ten minutes apart and weren’t slowing down, only getting stronger in intensity. I got up for a bit and they sped up to two to three minutes apart. I woke Isaac up to tell him I that I thought I was in labor. His response: “Yes!” with a smile. It makes me smile now, although at the time I did not feel like smiling with him. ;) By 6 am I was pretty sure this was the real thing and had him call our midwife to let her know. He started filling up the tub and preparing the bed while I managed my contractions which were getting stronger and stronger.
When Isaac said the tub was ready I jumped right in...not literally of course. ;) Oh, the joy! The warm water really took the edge off and I could get in whatever position felt the best. Even at this time I wanted to give up which I knew was a normal response, but understood I needed to keep my mind in order if I was going to make it through. I kept telling myself to just relax and breathe through my contractions. My contractions were coming fast and strong with not much time to breathe in between. Isaac was a strong support and gave me a sip of juice and water after every contraction...oh and a kiss too when I needed it. He kept telling me how strong I was and that I could do this. He helped me so much and reminded me that labor doesn’t last forever and pretty soon I will be holding my precious baby in my arms. All of a sudden during the next contraction I felt my body involuntarily pushing. I told Isaac and knew that it wouldn’t be too much longer. Isaac called our midwife to let her know and she told him she was on her way along with another midwife friend to help out with the birth. When she arrived she quietly slipped into the room and I kept doing what I was doing. She checked the baby’s heart beat to make sure all was well and just let me do my thing. It was nice to have the freedom to move how I needed. At that point, I started pushing with the contractions just slightly. My midwife encouraged me just to give little nudges allowing the baby to help stretch me out rather than tear again. Both midwives were a great support and told me I was doing so well and to just listen to my body.
Pretty soon out popped a little head. I reached down to feel and knew it was only a short time till I held this little one in my arms. I felt so happy and knew I could do it. The next contraction came and I began to push. The baby had its hand up by its head and the cord had decided to wrap around both the hand and head so my midwife along with her friend helped hold the cord from wrapping any tighter and coached me to slow my pushing and then at the right moment when to push harder to let the baby come all the way out. Because the cord had been compressed during some of the pushing they gave the baby a couple puffs of air to help her along. At this point I still didn’t know if she was a boy or girl. Isaac saw as she was coming out, but didn’t say anything yet. I was just so happy to be holding my precious baby and it all felt so right and so safe. It was such a beautiful moment as I held her and she even looked up and watched her daddy for a little bit.
After all was said and done, I ended up only having a 1st degree tear with NO STITCHES! Yay! I am healing very well and have been able to take care of my little girl like a mom should. With Neva, I couldn’t even stand and wouldn’t dare walk with her in my arms till the 3rd or 4th week after delivery. It was such a dramatically different experience to have Kaylee at home! I loved it and would do it again! In fact, I can’t imagine having a birth not at home and without a water tub now. It made so much difference, plus having the support of my midwife was essential! I knew I was in good hands and she would take care of both me and my baby. :) Being in my own environment helped me to relax and feel safe. My labor lasted just under 5 hours before I was holding my beautiful baby girl.
Kaylee is doing wonderfully! I am enjoying having a newborn to cuddle and love. It’s so much fun to see how her big sis adores her and likes to comfort her when she cries...and even when she is just asleep. ;) Neva will rub Kaylee’s cheek and head very gently and tell her, “Don’ cry. Don’ cry. It’s okay.” I’m so glad Neva is adapting well to having a little baby around. She is a great big sis!
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| The happy growing family. |
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| Sisterly love. |
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| A kiss from the big sis. :) |
